The bestiary · The Silo Gargoyle
Specimen · catalogued monster
The Silo Gargoyle
Guards your data, shares none of it
This stony sentinel squats atop each legacy database, glowering at anyone who dares request a record. It hoards data like treasure, grumbling that safety demands secrecy, while the rest of the estate waits politely in the rain.
Symptoms
- Extract requests wait a week for a reply
- Customer IDs disagree between neighbouring systems
- Integration projects quietly become archaeological digs
- Spreadsheets multiply as unofficial copies of the truth
- Only one person knows where the data lives
Weakness
Shine a lantern on the whole estate with a shared catalogue, then build well-governed connectors or a data product layer so the gargoyle can guard the gate without blocking the road. Start with the three datasets everyone begs for.
Overheard in the corridor
- “I'll need to raise a ticket with the database team.”
- “Which customer ID are you using? Ours is different.”
- “That system is ours, and we do not share.”
- “Can someone email me that extract again, please?”
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Spotted in the wild: The Silo Gargoyle. I know at least one data team it's haunting. Which monster is lurking in your data? Confess and find out below. #WhatHauntsYourData
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